What to Do If Your Spouse is Physically or Emotionally Abusive During Your Illinois Divorce

Going through a divorce can be an emotionally challenging and stressful time for both parties involved. However, it can be even more difficult when one spouse is physically or emotionally abusive towards the other. If you are experiencing abuse from your spouse during a divorce, it is important to take action to protect yourself and your children. In this blog, we will discuss what to do if your spouse is physically or emotionally abusing you during a divorce.

1. Seek Immediate Help

If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency services. If you are experiencing physical or emotional abuse, it is important to seek help right away. You can reach out to local domestic violence organizations or shelters for help and support. These organizations can provide you with information on how to obtain a restraining order or protective order, and can also offer counseling and other support services.

2. Document the Abuse

It is important to document any instances of physical or emotional abuse that you experience during the divorce process. This can include taking photos of any injuries, keeping a journal of any incidents, and saving any threatening or abusive messages or voicemails. This documentation can be used as evidence if you need to seek a restraining order or if the abuse is brought up in court.

3. Obtain a Restraining Order

If you are experiencing physical or emotional abuse, you may be able to obtain a restraining order or protective order. A restraining order is a legal order that requires your spouse to stay away from you and your children, and may also include other restrictions, such as prohibiting your spouse from contacting you. To obtain a restraining order, you will need to file a petition with your local court and provide evidence of the abuse.

4. Seek Legal Advice

If you are experiencing abuse during a divorce, it is important to seek legal advice from an experienced family law attorney. Your attorney can help you understand your legal rights and options, and can also help you obtain a restraining order or protective order if necessary. Your attorney can also help you negotiate a divorce settlement that protects your interests and those of your children.

5. Consider Counseling

Going through a divorce can be emotionally challenging, and it can be even more difficult when you are experiencing abuse from your spouse. Consider seeking counseling or therapy to help you cope with the emotional stress of the divorce and the abuse. Your attorney or local domestic violence organization may be able to provide you with a referral to a qualified therapist.

6. Create a Safety Plan

If you are experiencing abuse from your spouse during a divorce, it is important to create a safety plan to protect yourself and your children. This may include finding a safe place to stay, changing your phone number or email address, and avoiding contact with your spouse. You may also want to inform your children's school or daycare provider about the situation, and provide them with a copy of any restraining orders.

7. Communicate with Your Attorney

If you are experiencing abuse from your spouse during a divorce, it is important to communicate with your attorney about the situation. Your attorney can help you navigate the legal process and can also help you obtain a restraining order or protective order if necessary. Your attorney may also be able to provide you with referrals to local domestic violence organizations or therapists.

8. Keep Your Children Safe

If you have children, it is important to take steps to keep them safe from the abuse. This may include obtaining a restraining order or protective order, and also ensuring that your children are not exposed to any abuse or violence. If you believe that your spouse poses a danger to your children, you may need to seek custody and parenting time restrictions.

9. Focus on Your Own Well-Being

Going through a divorce can be emotionally challenging, and it can be even more difficult when you are experiencing abuse from your spouse. It is important to take care of yourself during this time, both physically and emotionally. Consider joining a support group for survivors of domestic violence or seeking individual counseling or therapy. Focus on activities that bring you joy and help you feel grounded, such as exercise, spending time with friends and family, or pursuing a hobby.

10. Remember, You Are Not Alone

Remember that you are not alone. Many people experience abuse from their spouse during a divorce, and there are resources available to help you. Reach out to local domestic violence organizations, talk to a trusted friend or family member, or seek help from a qualified therapist or counselor.

In conclusion, experiencing physical or emotional abuse from your spouse during a divorce can be a traumatic and challenging experience. However, by taking action to protect yourself and your children, seeking legal advice and support, and focusing on your own well-being, you can get through this difficult time and move forward with your life. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you.